


Subtil

by alltoseek



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: "Missing" Scene, Fruit of the Tree of Life, Fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, Garden of Eden, Gen, In the Beginning, What exactly is an "apple" anyway?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2015-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3516827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alltoseek/pseuds/alltoseek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing is, back in the day, apple trees didn't actually grow in the Middle East.</p><p> </p><p>(Please note there is an NSFW image at the end.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subtil

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to lexigent for looking this over and providing sage advice, which I mostly ignored, in true reckless fic writer wantonness.

“Apple?” said the angel, frowning doubtfully. “Is that what they're calling it?”

A lopsided shudder ran partway down the serpent's body. After a confused moment during which the angel wondered if epilepsy had been created yet, he realised it was the creature's equivalent to a shrug. “I think so. More convenient than saying 'the fruit of The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil' all the time.” 

“True,” agreed the angel, still somewhat doubtful. “Is convenience a good thing?”

“ _I_ didn't come up with it,” said the snake sarcastically, “so it's not necessarily a _bad_ thing.”

“Oh, right,” said the angel, face clearing. It was early days yet, and he still hadn't got the hang of sarcasm. “Um, er, I'm sorry, I don't think I caught your name.”

“Craw-- that is, Crowley,” said Crowley, who had definitely decided that Crawly was not _him_. He'd try out Crowley for a while, see if that suited better.

“A pleasure to-- um, that is, How do you-- er, my name is Aziraphale.”

“Yes, I know,” said the demon. “I've a very good memory for faces.”

“But perhaps not for the names of fruit?”

“Look, it's not as if _I_ eat fruit. Frogs and mice are more my thing. But my point is,” added Crowley quickly, before the angel could take them down another distracting path, “my point is, it's smack in the middle of the Garden. Right next to the orchid-tree.”

“The orchid-tree, my broth-- dem-- dear?” Aziraphale winced. A _fallen_ angel wasn't exactly a brother (not any more, anyway), but no need to be rude about it. Fortunately, Crowley didn't seem to notice.

“Maybe it was more like a lily-tree,” said Crowley dismissively. “I can never remember which is which.” Privately he thought he probably ought to learn the plants better. If he was to be stuck down here in the dust he'd be amongst them the rest of his days. “Anyway, the one paired up with the apple-tree. At the center of the Garden.”

“The thing is,” said Aziraphale hesitantly, reluctant to offend, “neither orchids nor lilies grow on trees.”

“Are you sure?” asked Crowley. “They looked like one or the other, I'm certain.”

“Ye-es, pretty sure. There are trees that flower, but not like those.”

“Wide petals, folding open gently to expose a dark, private center, where sweet nectar can be found under a delicate hood formed by-- ”

Aziraphale hurried to interrupt Crowley's description, which was conducting him along a train of thought he considered best not pursued. “Do you mean the Tree of Life?”

“Yes, that's the one. Which they _were_ supposed to eat from, but now they can't, because they ate from the other one. But it didn't make any sense, is my point. There the trees are together, a complete set. If they're supposed to enjoy the Fruit of Life, why shouldn't they enjoy the Fruit of Knowing, too? What's the point of _life_ without _knowing?_ I thought that was just for animals; that humans were supposed to be different.”

“I'm sure I don't know,” murmured Aziraphale. “It's all ineffable,” he added, perhaps a bit righteously. Is being good and right the same as being righteous? Or is righteousness taking things too far? More questions kept popping up in this angel business than he'd expected.

“Well, I suppose now they won't be eating from either,” concluded Crowley. “Seems a shame.”

“Mmm,” said Aziraphale distractedly. His mind had veered off virtues and drifted back to the description of flowers, and the complementary forbidden fruit. “No, they won't. Or at least not in the Garden.”


End file.
